Last Minute Surprises

Sometimes they work out beautifully. This weekend I was asked to shoot pictures at at a Quinceanera for a relative. The photographer had cancelled at the last minute with not so much as a reason why, just a "sorry, I can't make it." I had less than 24hours to prepare. Talk about nervous, whew. The photos turned out beautiful and I hope to share some more in the coming days.

The event was held at a swanky country club, in an area of town not many black folks venture to, unless of course we're working there. I was amazed that I've lived here all my life and didn't know such a rich area existed. There were mansions and fields and horses and cows and guards and gates and even lawn jockeys.

Father-Daughter Time

Tonight I brought home work. The husband generously agreed to watch the baby so I could complete it. Jayla cried, and she cried and she cried. The husband walked and walked some more. Hell, he walked all the way around Jacob's Barn and she still cried. Dakota followed along, because according to him, she needs her brother, just encase someone drops her.

The husband sang, he talked, he pondered, and then he tried something stupid, he tried to play Playstation 3. Nope. That baby cried some more, and it started all over again. I watched. And then, I laughed. I laughed hard. Real hard.

I eventually gave in and took over, but just for ten minutes, long enough to feed her and play a bit. I handed her back, and went back to work. That baby cried, and cried and cried some more. I still watched.

Tonight has truly been interesting. I've enjoyed my time on the deck working, but moreso, I've enjoyed my time waching father and daughter bond.

Lice Watch - Day Three

I think it is now safe to say my son does not have lice (unless of course said country children who were teasing him today have lice.) It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood Man.

Today my son told me some kids were making fun of his skin color. He really did not want to go into detail, except to say they were making fun. Actually, he did not want to talk about it to me. He wanted to talk to his dad. This must be one of those male conversations I'm not privy to, kind of like the erection in the morning conversations I've caught snippets of. I suspect he didn't want to tell me because he knows I'd address it with the program director. I am going to address it with her anyway, whether he wants me to or not. I'll just have to be tactful.

Kids used to make fun of me too, and I tried to explain this to him and why kids do it. But as I said, he just didn't want to talk about it with me. I hate that he is having to experience this, but we live in a rural area, and lots of kids live in the country, where they don't see too many black folks. That's no excuse, it's just the truth.

He did ask me if it was okay to tease them, and the angry mom and hurt inner child within me said "yes, that will be fine. Go ahead son." The rationale mom in me quickly stepped in though and changed her tune "no, two wrongs don't make it right Dakota. Don't tease them, because then that makes you like them. Teasing is wrong. Period. I was wrong to tell you that." I explained to the child who really wasn't listening that people tease other people when they don't understand something and it's hurful. I really, really wanted to give my boy the full go ahead though and tell him to let loose, because he is the king of zingers when it comes to come-back lines.

Pondering

I am left to wonder why each and every frigging Fourth of July we are the only family in this town that cannot light fireworks on our property. We must drive around, find the perfect parking lot where there are no overhead obstructions, no grass nearby and no cars. This year the husband lucked up and found a lot right behind a fire department. The man was in Heaven. This is what happens when you marry a firefighter.

One year, just one year, I light a firework at home. Unfortunately it was a rocket which shot up in the air and prompty landed on the roof. There it sat. Smoking. The husband immediately pulled out the garden hose and stood ready to put out the fire. No joking. Every since then, we must put safety first and leave our humble abode on the Fourth.

Tonight we got a big surprise. Jayla Lee did something new! As the husband and I were bathing her, the girlie did her normal laugh and smile because she loves her bath . . . and then all of a sudden the water started to look murky. Real murky. And stinky.

"Wait a minute. Wait. What is that? What is that smell. Is that. . . is that? That's something brown. What is . . . that's shit Charles! There's shit in the water. Jayla was still smiling. And still going. She was happy. She was oh so happy. I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go.

I have lice

"Mom, I wanna tell you something." I'm half-listening, because this weekend is the Twilight Zone marathon and Talking Tina is just about ready to trip Telly Savalis town a flight of steps. All he had to do was be nice to Tina, but no, he had to go and put her head in a vice gripe thingy, now she's gotta kill him.

"Mom, are you listening? Guess what? I have lice." There he goes, tumbling down the steps, but now I'm distracted and can't enjoy the scene because my child has just told me he has lice. Damn. Thoughts of mayonaise and endless laundry come to mind as I barely notice Telly's blank death stare. Damn, lice. What the hell?

I inquire as to why my child thinks he has lice, and I look at his head. His hair is so tight nothing could possibly move around in there. I know this, because everyday I have to comb it and, unless I use my special "unlock spray" this child's hair is like the Mississippi River - impossible to navigate. He tells me his friend Erin gave it to him this week and he's positive he's got it, because his head is itching.

I get a comb and, as best I can I look through the nooks and crannies of his hair. His hair is like an old growth forest - dense. He wants braids and it's longer and thicker than it's ever been. I see not one piece of lice. Not one. I just hope it stays this way. Now I'm worried.

The Best Laid Plans

Tired sleepy children = early bedtime = time for mom to read John Grisham's new book The Associate.

Boy takes bath, 7 p.m., can barely keep eyes open, baby sound asleep at least until 10. Mom very happy. Smiling on the inside. Boy takes bath, mom checks on garden, comes back upstairs. Sitting on couch waiting for tired, sleepy child to get out of tub are neighborhood kids smiling. Mom no longer smiling on the inside.

Tired sleepy child hops out of tub, renewed and now wide awake. Plays with kids. Mom still not smiling on the inside. Kids leave, child finally goes to bed at 9:30, mom finally sits down and thinks about reading. Maybe.

Those tough subjects

Today we had a frank discussion about private information. I've said before Sucarri is a curious boy. Part of his curiosity comes from listening to other adults conversations. The boy is privy to a lot of information he shouldn't be. After breakfast he came to me and said he knew Dakota's real mom's name. I try not to take offense at the use of the word real. I understand what he means. He's been asking Dakota questions about his biological family. I later ask Dakota how he found out and he was a bit apprehensive to tell me Sucarri had been asking him questions.

I'm not sure how to balance his need to know with Dakota's right to say "that's private." I ended up telling Dakota that the information he has about his biological family is his information and if he didn't want to share it, he didn't have to. The information is private and nobody really needs to know unless he decides to share it. He said he understood, I think he did. Five minutes later while we were all sitting together he says "Momma, tell Sucarri what you just told me about private information." He caught me off guard with that one, but I told him and I hope some of these questions will now stop. I know he's been listening to grown folks talk about us adopting and he just doesn't understand. I did explain adoption to him more fully, hoping that will satisfy some of his curiosity. I hope this boy puts this curiosity to good use at school, because he sure is a questionbox.

Following in the footsteps of the Brave Little Owl

"Um, dear, Leigh, do you realize you don't have a wig on?"
"Yep."

"Momma, did you know you came out without a wig on?"
"Yep."

Shipmates

Yesterday we took the kids to see a real live battleship. It was hot as hell and just as humid. It was educational and fun, two things that vacations should be about.

I look at both boys and can't believe how much they've grown up. Dakota is still my baby, even though he can drive me five kinds of crazy. Tonight he fell asleep in the car and as I woke him up he wrapped his arms around me and jumped up in my arms. My back promptly gave out because I am in no kind of shape to be carrying around a kid that weighs close to 100 lbs. He's been eating way too many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Tonight marks the first time in the history of parenthood that I've seen two kids come in, get undressed and go straight to bed without uttering a word, not even a peep.

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Originally uploaded by kyshutterbug

Today our girlie really got her feet wet. Literally. She spent the afternoon at the beach and even got in the water for a minute or two.

What I didn't count on was the monumental amount of time I would spend getting sand out of her hair. And the screams, oh the screaming was pure torture. I just decided to put her in the tub with me, let her lay her back and wash her hair. She loved it. No more screams. She was all smiles and happy again.

Tonight Jayla is worn out. She wasn't really impressed with the beach, but she was impressed with taking a bath with mom. She was so impressed, she's slept all evening.